E-mail from Kat to Greta:
Resentment – “To feel again,” clings to the past, relives it over and over, picks each fresh scab so that the wound never heals.
Forgiveness – to release, to hurl away, to free yourself.
I think I’m stuck in the past of ungrace…unforgiveness. I hold grudges and anger against the things that have been done to me. I haven’t forgiven them, or myself. Which totally applies to something you [Greta] said…processing and going through it to find healing and grace (paraphrased). I can’t let go until I’m willing to forgive. But how do I find the strength to forgive? To offer grace? It seems I could spend a year crying out my forgiveness, and it will still linger.
“The first and often the only person to be healed by forgiveness is the person who does the forgiveness…When we genuinely forgive, we set a prisoner free and then discover that the prisoner we set free was us.”
Just a thought to ponder.
Response E-mail from Greta to Kat:
You’re right that forgiveness plays a part in the process of healing, but I don’t think it is the first thing you need to do. You can’t force yourself to forgive others who hurt you.
Maybe the first step is to acknowledge the hurt and talk about it and how it affected you and still affects you.
Forgiveness will come, but in its time…and maybe that isn’t now for you.
And if I haven’t told you lately, I enjoy our time together whether we discuss something serious, silly, or work related.