Groaning, I rolled over. My lower back spasmed demonically as I laid in bed. I had been years since I had the flu and I was hoping I didn’t have it now. Alex, laid beside me, snoring like a freight train. A 10-piece band could march and play in the bedroom and he still wouldn’t budge. I stumbled to the bathroom, hoping not to trip on one of the cats. That was the last thing I needed at the moment. Glancing at the clock on my way, I realized that it was 6:30 in the morning. I had a whole hour yet before I needed to be out of bed and headed to work. I doubled over in agony and held my stomach as it felt like someone was twisting a fiery hot poker in it. What the hell was going on? I lowered herself onto the toilet and wearily held my head in my hands. Maybe I ate something bad last night and now I was paying for it this morning. I racked my brain trying to come up with something that tasted “not quite right” yesterday, but nothing came to mind. And if it was food, how come Alex wasn’t sick?
My belly and back throbbed angrily. I wiped and came away with a handful of blood. Oh great, I’ve got my period and it’s going to be a bitch this time! I knew I could never predict when, where, or how strong or weak it was going to be each time. Heck, there were times I would go months without getting it and then other times I would have it for two weeks straight. I missed being on birth control which made my menstrual cycle as predictable as clockwork. Another contraction surged through my lower back as my stomach clenched violently. I shuddered, sweating through the fierce pain. A thought started winding its way through my mind, but I skittered away from it. It’s not possible. Is it? Dare I think it? I didn’t want to, but it kept pushing insistently against my consciousness.
We had tried for two years now to have a baby, but no such luck. Only recently had we started seeing a fertility specialist who had put me on Clomid to try to increase the chances of me becoming pregnant. That was only two weeks ago. Could it have worked so fast? Or not, I thought as I tried to clean up the mess I was making. Groggily, I realized this was more than just wicked “Aunt Flo” making her normal appearance. Finally, I attempted to stand, holding the wall for support. My legs trembled and felt heavy like blocks of cement were attached to my feet. I could barely move them. Fear started to settle in my belly, which only added to the turmoil, as I suspected what might truly be happening. Shuffling back to the bedroom, clutching my nightgown against my stomach, I curled back in bed, praying I was wrong and it was just bad menstrual cramps that would be over soon. An hour went by and the alarm went off. Alex mumbled and rolled over, slapping the alarm off. He went to get up when he realized that I was still in bed next to him.
“Hon? Kat? It’s 7:30am. You need to get up for work!” Alex nudged me playfully, trying to get me to get my butt in gear. “Kat?” Sighing, Alex gave up and trudged into the school bus yellow bathroom. He really needed to repaint it. It glowed from under the doors and was the last color he wanted to see as he cracked open his eyes in the mornings. My attempt at sponge painting the walls had gone awry. Well, it’s more like Alex went awry since he got tired of doing the sponge painting and decided to paint it all on at once. I had wanted to go to bed instead of finishing the project. He was getting tired of cleaning up after me. Alex thought I never seemed interested in him anymore. That I was always distracted and moody. He heard me mumbling in the bedroom, but ignored it as he continued getting ready for work.